“Feeling feelings is the gift. They tell you you are alive. They are what connects you to others and to the world. Without feelings, life is dull and repetitive, a treadmill that cycles in perpetuity.”
“That’s all they’ll ever be. Someone who is ever angry and frustrated, carrying venom within their heart towards another human being. Just think of the damage this does to them. They can’t be anyone else. Their biggest fear is what do they become if they release the pain of hate? The pain gives them identity and substance. Without it, who are they? For them, they are in a prison of their own making, with no possibility of parole.”
“I decided I need to find out who I was, who I am, and who I will be. It’s a choice. Travelling through the dark to find the light of your soul is the only way. For me.”
For me, 1994 was the year everything changed. These unexpected revelations caused monumental transitions of the type that reached down and heaved memories, experiences and emotions from my subconscious centre and exposed them to my conscious self. Fear is the common theme, moments where I could not bring myself to walk calmly into the fire of the Phoenix, as fear’s hold upon me is just far too painful.
If we do not walk into the fire of change willingly, the universe lovingly conspires to create situations, moments if you will, that compel our eventual submission to the Phoenix. We cannot escape the monster called Fear. Turning to face it is our one and only solution. And when you do choose to face the fear, you find it far smaller than you expected. The unknown has an inbuilt microscope that expands everything to huge proportions contradicting reality.
We are painted by our past, sculpted by those around us and the experiences we encounter. Our core is never deleted nor affected by trauma or pain; only hidden, where it is safe from imposition. As it sinks ever deeper behind the masks, we need to dig further to discover that unchanging part, our real self. And this is what the universe lovingly creates; moments of transformation sprinkled with numerous opportunities to find out who we truly are.